The Rough Diamond

The Rough Diamond

I was required to write either an obituary or a profile for an assignment for my Master's course. I chose to write an obituary, in memory of my late maternal grandfather. I was asked to write in 3rd person for this assignment, thus names have been replaced instead of writing "grandfather".

The Rough Diamond

Standing at 5’ 7”, weighed 124 pounds with a waistline of 26 inches, Ang Kian Hoon was a man who believes that “health is wealth”. He’s not overweight and do not take rice a lot like other people of his time. He always asked his wife not to ask him what he wants to eat but his seven children and his 16 grandchildren because he can take anything as long as they are happy with the food she cooks. Kian Hoon told his children that during his time, the children should eat only after the elders have finished at the dinner table. But he prefers that “whoever is hungry shouldn’t wait”.

In the kitchen, Kian Hoon would be helping his wife doing the strenuous jobs like pounding, sharpening the knife and brushing the high cabinets in their rented two-storey double shop lot. On some weekends, Mrs. Ang would spend most of her time in the kitchen preparing favourite dishes for their children and grandchildren. Kian Hoon would be the one grinding the ingredients, pounding the chilly and sometimes, even peeling all the little garlic for the curry for his wife. After a whole day’s cooking, Kian Hoon would help her clean the kitchen cabinets and brush off oil stains on the stove while she does the dishes.

“Since he would no longer be around in the kitchen with me now, I feel a little lonely. The kitchen cabinets rarely gets cleaned because my children doesn’t allow me climbing up high on the stool to wash, even my knives are not as sharp as it used to be,” said Mrs Ang with her eyes looking into a daze as if she sees that images in front of her.

Kian Hoon was a man of his words when money is concerned. More people owed him than he owed others. He got bank loans by trust. He never bought any houses because he didn’t like to owe the bank. He only bought a second-hand-car. Peugeot was his favourite. Although it was already a very old car when he bought it, Kian Hoon was so proud of it. When he first tried to open the booth of the car, he realized the stopper was no longer there so he quickly picks up a piece of wood outside his shop to stop it from closing. And that piece of wood was kept in the booth ever since only for that purpose!

He always believes that one should never be a slave to the car and always laughed saying that he has got the toughest steel in town. Other cars would suffer if they banged into his Peugeot.

Kian Hoon was also one of the men in that small town in Kelantan to teach his wife to be independent. During his days, a woman should only be busy in the kitchen or at home. But he was proud his wife could drive his car to run errands. So, Mrs. Ang was one of the few ladies who drove to anywhere she liked.

Kian Hoon is a big fan of Reader’s Digest, very rare for people during his time. He used to share real stories and quotations with his children. Maybe that is where he gets his ideas of teaching his children and grandchildren differently from the ancient values. He always tells them to think logically and they won’t be a “silly goat”.

He was one who believes in giving memories to the people he touched. He sang songs for his children, grandchildren and even for their friends when they visit. Jasmine, remember him singing a song for you when you visited my house? Well, he always believes that “life is just a memory of what one’s done, so make sure you do it right”.

One of his daughters, Ang Suat Ngai will always remember the day when they were at the beach. Suddenly it rained when they just started laying the mat. Kian Hoon quickly asked everyone to use the mat as the giant umbrella and he laughed and told the grandchildren “Ah ha! Isn’t this fun! You all will remember this day well!”

“Some people would have taken that day as a miserable day, but not my dad,” recalled Suat Ngai.

Kian Hoon was doing business as usual on a Thursday when he had his heart attack. He was flown all the way to IJN (National Heart Institute) two days after. When the children sent him at the airport, he told everyone around him to think of his journey as a holiday. When he was in the ambulance, he joked that he was more important now than anyone on the road and was smiling all the way. Indeed, it was a holiday because the doctors didn’t get to operate him when he took his last breath on Sunday, 5th of April 1999.

The family realized how helpful and precious he was to his friends and relatives by the number of wreaths and the number people who came for the last farewell. They all called him their “rough diamound” – rough on the outside but always treasured on the inside.

A lot of tears rolled down my cheeks as I read details about my grandfather which mom had faxed me before I could write the above article. Yesterday was the first in many years when tears wet my cheeks like a little girl. Suddenly I remember so many little details about my grandfather. All in that very tiny moment, I miss him so much. He's a man full of love, laughters, advices and very good quotes. I will always remember him...because when we are at the end, we think of the beginning.